As expected, my post on ‘Girls and Boys – Part 1’ had all my guy friends nodding in agreement and all my girl friends were furious and snickering at such a shallow typecasting.
Usually, boys/men are not really verbose. They are painfully direct and to the point. They really say, what they mean. Yes, I know that’s a hard truth to digest. Sigh! But that is usually the truth. Unlike us girls, they won’t sugar coat things, and build an entire scenario to come to the point. Hence, there is always the mismatch in coding and decoding between inter-gender communications. We, on one hand, never really say the exact things that we want, for the want of sounding not-rude, understanding, compassionate, reasonable, mature or whatever. They, on the other hand, are typically inapt at beating around the bush. But still there are many things typical of a man to say, when he CLEARLY means something else.
Ok girls, now listen up! Like I promised, we won’t be sparing the boys, and I will keep up to it. I am listing down some of the things that men say and what actually they mean. Please feel free to add to the list and let’s make it a real long one together. Wink!
What he says and what he means:
1. He says: I think I am falling for you/ I like your hair/shoes/etc.
What he means: You really interest him. You are on his mind more often than he would like to acknowledge, even to himself.
Tip: It’s more likely that he is just testing the waters. It’s a pre-cursor to what he might really have in mind. He just wants to make sure that you are also riding the same wave as him. And if he proposes, he doesn’t want to face an embarrassing rejection. Girls, it’s your hint at knowing where you really want to take things with him.
2. He says: Why don’t you catch up with your girl gang today? Its been really long you met them.
What he means: He is not being very considerate and willing to look after the kids while you have your fun. He really wants to watch that football match over beer with his cronies. And he wants to have fun with his guy gang.
Tip: It’s just that he wants to go anyhow; today or in the next couple of days. If he lets you go out, obviously you won’t stop him from having his fun. It’s a pure bargain. Just calculative give and take. And hopefully no ulterior motive here. So, let him just go and you have your own fun too.
3. He says: Okay, let’s go for that movie.
What he means: I wouldn’t have gone for that movie under any circumstance. I am only going because you want.
Tip: Again a calculative game. He goes with you for that movie willingly so that you can’t put your foot down when he wants to go for some sci-fi or action flick.
Or it could also mean (in rare cases):
- He really wants you to be happy, even if that means going to that movie.
- He wants to make you happy, because he really loves you or wants you to take you to bed.
- He is just of a very accommodating nature and your happiness is his top most priority.
After a dinner date, he comes to drop you home
4. He says: (In case you are one of those girls, who live in their own house, away from parents)
Why don’t we sip some coffee together?
He means: I am sure you know what ‘coffee after dinner dates’ is a metaphor for.
Tip: Haven’t we all watched this clichéd line in scores of Hollywood movies? He just wants to go to bed with you. Obviously, he can’t straight away tell you, ‘honey let’s just have sex and get done with it.’ So it’s a subtle cue, to gauge your interest. If things don’t turn out the way he thought, at least he can convince himself that he had just come for coffee. Real coffee.
5. He says: Let’s go out for dinner tonight.
What he means: If you are his wife: I am tired of all the inedible things you try to pass off as dinner.
If you are his girlfriend: I really like you and dinner is just to check if there could be any interesting possibilities between us.
Tip: Don’t let all his flattery charm you too much and take you off guard.
Side note: He might just have taken you out for dinner without any specific agenda. May be we should not let our women-minds over analyse the situation.
6. He says: You look different.
He means: He can’t exactly put his finger on what exactly is different. He didn’t exactly notice your hair cut.
Or he means you are looking bad. Different is a subtle way of saying that dress is unflattering.
Tip: Look right into his eyes and dare him to say clearly what is looking different.
If he is really one of those rare sensitive types, he doesn’t want to hurt you by saying that you are looking bad, right on your face. He wants you to take the cue.
7. He says: My mom’s choley/pasta/halwa is out of the world.
He means: Your choley/pasta/halwa doesn’t even come close. You suck at it.
Tip: Ouch! Yes, I know you put your whole evening making that dish. You just take it with a pinch of salt, smile back sweetly and say, “I am sure”.
So girls, I am looking forward to see some more ‘what-he-says-and-what-he-means’ comments down here.