Why is this Diwali extra special?

This is my favourite time of the year – the Diwali time. I have written about Diwali last year as well. Here. So wow, that also means I have completed a year of blogging. Yay! And I only just realised that.  🙂

There are just so many reasons why I, like so many others, love Diwali. Everything about Diwali is just so warm and beautiful, the diyas, the lanterns, the LED lights, the surroundings that is submerged in subdued golden hue from the zillion lights from every house, the food, the indulgences (in my case always accompanied by guilt…sigh), the festivities, the sweets, the exchange of greetings, the hugs, the blessings, the baksheesh, the new beautiful clothes, the crackers, the sky fireworks… IT IS ALL SO PRETTY!

But this year Diwali is extra extra special for me. Why? Ummm… because I am walking down the aisle very soon, in about a month’s time. There. Said that. I am not very comfortable doing family and personal posts, so I have delayed writing about this for the longest time possible. But then, how could I not share this bit of news with all of you my readers? So after much deliberation, I finally decided I will write about it. Yes, yes it’s also your cue to wish me 😛

Now, that should explain to you my disappearing acts, my sporadic posts, my less than regular replies to your comments and my seldom comments on your blogs. You know how busy and tiring this whole marrying business can be, there are just so many things to do and there is just so little time. Dress trials, shopping trips, invitations, pre-preparations, wedding cards and what not? And between all this I am trying my best to be everywhere and do everything. I want to spend as much time as possible with my parents and family and near dear friends before my life does a summersault and completely changes, and before I go miles away and the physical distance between us drives us apart.

So yes, that is why this Diwali is extra special. And no one around me lets me forget this even for a second that I will be here with them just for a while and so everything they say to me has an extra emotional undertone to it. Or so I think. For e.g.:

“Don’t count your calories, you might not get to eat this next Diwali”

“You will not be here next Diwali, won’t you miss the whole craze that Diwali is?”

My Mom: “Don’t save your best clothes for later any more, when else will you get a chance to wear them? I think you should definitely wear this pretty Salwar Kameez today itself, you might not get a chance to wear this again.”

“Eat this mithai, you are surely going to miss this big time”

My dad: “Who will correct my spellings now?” To that, I feel like rolling my eyes at him and shouting that you can always phone me dad or text me, we can skype, you can email me. Seriously?!

My brother: “Who will I fight with for TV’s remote?” To him I feel like saying, at least I am not going to miss TV-remote-fights plisssss. Or may be I will, who knows?

So you get the drift of what I am saying, right? Everyone’s emotions are running high and nothing they say or do is casual anymore. They all want to do their best to give me lasting memories from my last days of singlehood with them. And I? To say I am overjoyed will be an understatement. I am choked with all the attention and TLC coming my way. And to get maximum of this very well-deserved TLC, I have also resigned from my work two days ago, so that I can spend maximum time with my family and friends making memories that I will treasure for years to come, and that will all be saved hidden in a quiet corner of my heart in that little golden chest that has that golden ribbon and little tinkling bells and stay there forever, for me to go back to them and access them again and again at my will in one of those lonely moments that are sure to come when I miss home.

Karan Johar wasn’t exaggerating when he said it’s all about loving your family! 😉

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Who is a Father?

They say that there is no love like mother’s love. That a mother’s love is unconditional and the purest form of love. Truly selfless.

Right. There is no denying that. Scores of literature have been written about mothers, umpteen number of poems, books, stories, songs describe the greatness of mother’s love. While her love is unquestionable and her stature for a child is equal to that of God’s, it’s the father who has always been portrayed as an outsider, as a bystander, as someone who hangs on the fringes and yet he is happy to let the mother hog all the limelight. While mother’s love has been glorified and spoken about since the time of Neanderthals, father’s love has hardly had any mention or any acknowledgement.

So while we continue to love our mothers more than anyone in this world, it wouldn’t hurt really to give daddy his due credit, will it? After all we love him as much as we love our mommy, right? Just that the way mommy loves is different from the way daddy loves; but that doesn’t mean he loves us any less.

A traditional father loved his children no less than a mother did. But he didn’t really believe in expressing. He thought being a father meant being authoritative and being in total control. But that was not really his fault. He was made to believe that way, so he passed on what he saw. He thought being a father meant being in control, disciplining children, providing for them and loving them silently.

Modern daddy has come a long way. He loves his children as unconditionally as his traditional counterpart. But he also loves to express his feelings, and he is not afraid of how he will look like expressing his feelings. He is a friend to his child and makes a smooth transition from being a father to being a friend as per the situation. He likes to keep the atmosphere light and doesn’t shy away from saying his sorrys and accepting his mistakes.

So who really is a father then?

  • Father is the one who loves his children as much as a mother does
  • Father is a one who tries to bring the best food on to the table for his children’s health
  • Traditionally, father is the one who pays for his child’s best education
  • Father is the one who takes you on holidays
  • Father is the one who bears the brunt if any of the child’s needs are unmet
  • Father is that loving figure that cuddles you when you are just a little child, plays ball with you, does summersaults to make you laugh and becomes a clown to see you laugh.
  • Father is the one who pretends to be the elephant and gives you a ride around the house, even after a hard day’s work
  • He is the one who takes you to the fair
  • He is the one who buys you expensive toys and all the beautiful clothes
  • He is the one who takes you around everywhere and drops you to school
  • He is the one who comforts you when mommy decides not to be so nice
  • He is one who provides you comfort, security and shelter
  • He is the one who always has a very special corner in his heart for his little girl
  • He is the one who bothers about insurance and the likes
  • He is the one who plans to marry his daughter off to the nicest man possible and smilingly slogs all his life to afford a big fat wedding
  • He is the one who shares, with a very heavy heart, his daughter with another man.
  • He is the one who loses sleep every night over his girls safety and happiness
  • He is the one who worries about his boy’s profession and future

Yet, a father is always a bystander. His love always is counted secondary to that of mother’s.  But his love, in no way, is secondary.

I dedicate this post to my father and all those to-be fathers. I want to tell you all that you have been doing a thankless job of being a father for centuries. It’s time we all took notice and let you know that we love you as much as we love our mommy.

He is the man,

With a lot of tan,

He slogs in the sun,

To get you the bun,

He plays with you ball,

He doesn’t let you fall,

He gives you the bike,

And holds you while you ride,

For you he cares,

So everyone he dares,

To keep you safe,

With whatever it takes.

Love you, papa.

Someday I will find my prince but my Daddy will always be my King

–       Anonymous

P.S: There always are exceptions to the traditional father and modern daddy categories. So if your daddy, didn’t fit it to the traditional mould, be assured, that I was just generalizing