FB Chats

 

This is purely a work of fiction, any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely co-incidental

 

Chat 1: With an old school friend

10.20 Me: Hey

10.21 Amy: Hey Zinal 🙂

10. 21 Me: Wassup Amy, long time

10.22 Amy: Nothing much, its work as usual. How have u been?

10.24 Me: I have been good, thank you 🙂

10.24 Amy: It’s been ages that we met

10.25 Me: I swear

10.26 Amy: what have you been up to??

10.28 Me:  it’s pretty much the office-home-office routine

10.30 Amy: Hmm

10.35 Me: So what’s happening on the personal front?

10.41 Amy: it’s complicated

10.42 Me: hmm

10.52 Amy: Ok then, cya, gtg ..ttyl

10.53 Me: bye

 

Chat 2: With that new interesting boy in office who flirts with you

21.06 Arjun: hey lady

21.06 Me: Hey Arjun 🙂

21.06 Arjun: Wassup? Had dinner?

21.07 Me: Just did… How about you?

21.07 Arjun: Well… I am still making it

21.07 Me: Are you trying to tell me that YOU can cook?

21.08 Arjun: Oops, did I just give that away? I thought I will save this bit of detail for later 😉

21.08 Me: haha… well… why should I believe you?

21.08 Arjun: You will see that for yourself, perhaps… someday 😉

21.09 Me: Aah…are you trying to say something here? 😛 Coz, I am reading between the lines

21.09 Arjun: haha 😉
Btw

21.10 Me: Btw what?

21.10 Arjun: Did I tell you that ‘purple’ is your colour?

21.11 Me: scratching my head to remember that

21.11Arjun: haha

21.11 Me: no, you haven’t told me that…yet 😉

21.12 Arjun: Well Zinal, purple is your colour then… I think you should change your wardrobe to purples

21.12 Me: haha… well thank you. But if I change my whole wardrobe to purples, it wouldn’t be half as interesting … it will soon be boring  😛

21.13 Arjun: May be you are right… Actually, I think it’s not about the colour.. its about YOU 🙂

21.13 Me: haha…are you trying to flirt?

21.14 Arjun: oh Shit, is it that obvious?

21.14 Me: hahaha

21.15 Arjun J I can sense something

21.15 Me: May be whatever that you are cooking is burning 😛

21.16 Arjun: ouch…

21.16 Me: haha…maybe you should check on your dinner

21.17 Arjun: Wow, we think alike

21.17 Me: lol
okay.. I gtg .. cya tomo in office

21.18 Arjun: okay cya.. I better go know before my dinner burns.. bye

21.18 Me: Bye

 

 Chat 3: With that irritating guy who hits on you

22.15 Gautam: Hey Zinal

22.19 Me: Hello Gautam

22.19 Gautam: Wassup beautiful?? 😉

22.25 Me: well… nothing much.. you tell me

22.25 Gautam: Why are you taking so long to reply??!!

22.30 Me: Umm.. poor internet connectivity.. I keep going offline

22.30 Gautam: but you appear online to me

22.33 Me: don’t know why

22.33 Gautam: So I was thinking

22.36 Me: please don’t think Gautam

22.36 Gautam: haha funny you

22.40 Me: 😛

22.40 Gautam: it’s been a while we met, why don’t we meet for coffee?

22.50 Me: Umm well… we could, but am keeping very busy these days… work pressure

22.50 Gautam: hmm.. then we should really go in that case.. you can unwind

22.58 Me: well may be some other time

22.58 Gautam: okay J So what else is happening at your end??

23.07 Gautam: Helllllooooooo

23.16 Gautam: you there?

23.19 Gautam: I am sure you are online.. I can see that

23.25 Me: Oops sorry… went off to take a call .. Anyway nice talking …Tc Gn

Zinal is now offline

 

Chat 4: With your nosy relative

15.03 Pammy: Hello beta

15.04 Me: Hello Auntyji… kaise hain aap?

15.05 Pammy: All good beta.. all good
So long, have not seen you

15.07 Me: Haan Aunty … have been busy

15.08 Pammy: I saw your pictures.. nice you look.. but itni dubli kaise ho gayi tum…Khana nai khaati kya?

(Zinal panics…which pictures is Aunty talking about)

15.10 Me: haha thank you aunty.. I am the same.. not thin .. not fat

15.15 Pammy: Met your mom in the market on Tuesday

15.17 Me: Really? That’s nice 🙂

15.18: Pammy: I have suggested a guy to her, did she tell you about him

(Zinal Groans.. not again)

15.19 Me: Really? No she hasn’t… but aunty I am too young yet.. what’s the rush

15.20 Pammy: Every girl says that… you should marry when the time is right

(Zinal sighs..why am I even having this conversation.. should I just say bye)

15.23 Pammy: You there, beta?

15.25 Me: ya aunty.. I will think about it..

15.27 Pammy: good girl you are…jhappi

15.28 Me: J Okay Aunty.. baad main baat karte hain.. mere class ka samay ho gaya hai.. bye bye

15.30 Pammy: bye beta.. give my regards to mummy

15. 32 Me: sure aunty.. bye

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Information Overload… give me a break Plissss…

My 19-year old cousin has something doctors call, ‘SMS thumb’. SMS thumb is something similar to ‘Mouse Elbow’ phenomenon and simply put, it means wear-and-tear and over fatigue of overused thumb muscle. She feels the constant need to message and can’t seem to leave her cell behind even when she goes for a leak. Every time she feels high or low, her close clique of BBM i.e. Blackberry Messenger friends are first to know. This might bring you to the question, why does a 19-year old college student need a Blackberry in first place? Does she have to constantly receive and answer emails? No. She needs the Blackberry because everyone in her group owns one. So what’s the major attraction? Blackberry’s push email service or its BBM Service? Apparently, it’s the messenger service (apart from the peer pressure to be counted ‘in’ by owning a BB) and other cool apps that allow you to constantly update personal information, that enables everyone on your list to see your updates and comment on it, that lets you upload cool/hot/sexy pictures of yourself or others, tongue-in-cheek/witty/humourous/sarcastic status updates that are copy-pasted from elsewhere.

We live in a world of instant communication, instant money, instant food, instant gratification and yesss… instant messaging. BBM, What’s app, Gtalk have bridged the gaps of time and distance between people. Everything almost happens in real-time now. We feel gratified by the thought of being constantly connected to so many people, many of whom we hardly meet in person or even worse would avoid meeting in person. Online avatars are taking over the real people and no. of friends on your Facebook list or BBM list or your What’s App list is suddenly a new metric of measuring your popularity. Shallow you may call it, but that is how it is.

People update their every-minute details, how they are feeling, where they have checked in (Foursquare, Google places), where they are going, where they are holidaying, who they are dating, their marital status and what not. But who really wants to know if you have just checked into Berlin International airport or if you are holidaying in Dubai? Why do people feel this aching need to proclaim these details to the world and appear sooo social online? What is this entire hype behind ‘checking –in’ anyway?

What is also a little silly and more annoying is people tagging their partners and loved ones and posting all lovey-dovey messages on social media. While it’s a great idea to express love and feel that beautiful feeling called love, what I have a difficulty in understanding is, why announce it to the world? Why do all your friends have to know if you are missing your boyfriends/wife/partner? So that you can cut a perfect-couple picture? So that others can ooh and aah over your love? So that the world knows how much you love someone? Aren’t these things supposed to be private? Can’t these beautiful feelings be expressed over a call, or email or a personal text message?

Or perhaps, could this really mean that there is an underlying need for buying-in everyone’s approval? Could this, probably, mean that you are unsure about your own feelings and that your friends’ comments and ‘likes’ will reinforce your faith in that particular relation? I am sure there are many ways of looking at this. You could argue, that it’s just a simple gesture and there is perhaps nothing much to read there between the lines. Yes, that is true. Even I use this media. But some things really gnaw at me. When I read all these updates and see all the overwhelming lovey-dovey pictures, I often wonder if I am the only one who is seeing this as a disturbing trend. Is this information overload bothering only me? Am I the only Black sheep?

But where do we draw the line? What about social media etiquettes? How we got this far, to the point that people share soooo much on Facebook? How much is too much? Who decides this? What are the tolerance limits? Isn’t it a bit paradoxical that ‘social media’ might be making us all ‘unsocial’ after all? We are comfortable talking online and we avoid meeting the real people more often than we would like to admit.  I recently read a report that said that only 7% of communication is verbal or written communication, while a staggering 93% happens through body language and nonverbal cues. Then aren’t we missing on something here? By choosing to hide behind our carefully-sculpted and not-so-honest online personalities and chatting with people, are we not missing out on the real pulse/ emotion/ real feelings of those people? When they say they are fine, are they really fine?

People don’t take a minute to think before putting up all the information out there. It’s world wide web, and the information never really dies, and even if you delete your posts and updates, it certainly stays hidden somewhere. You have no way of knowing where it will land and all your privacy settings are of no use if some psychotic hacker decides to misuse that information. Or worse, you don’t know when will it come back to haunt you. But then may be humans, after all, are really narcissists and they can’t push away that overpowering desire to talk about themselves, and what better platform than social media.

While all these wonderful ways of communicating and staying in touch with people have blurred the lines of time and distance for us, have eased our lives in more than one way  and we can for sure keep harping on and on about the modern world with its instant connectivity and how easy our lives have become. But slowly, aren’t we becoming its slave? Aren’t we letting it rule us? Why can’t we go a couple of hours before checking our mails and why is our patience snapping if someone takes long to reply to our texts? Why do we feel this overwhelming need to check that ping, even when our spouse or our parents are talking to us? Are we, perhaps, becoming too shallow and superficial?

Used judiciously, it’s a wonderful platform to stay ‘with’ the times. Over do it and you kill it.

So all those who are constantly posting updates and drowning us with overload of this information, plisssssss spare us, we are not interested.