I don’t think I am someone who has a big sweet tooth. Yes, I do crave my occasional spoon or two of dessert, but nothing like borderline madness for sweet things that I know some people have. I sure crave for one hot piping gulab jamun, or one big spoon of quintessential ‘gajar ka halwa’ or a bowl of fruit custard once in a while. But that’s about how mad it can get for me.
For a weight watcher like me whose constant buddy is ‘guilt’, doing something ‘wild’ or ‘totally crazy’ would probably mean eating 5-6 gulab jamuns in a row. And I must confess that I haven’t been ‘that crazy or wild’ yet. Reading what my idea of ‘wild’ is, you’d probably be smirking at me. Huh, like I care! But this point had to be made to prove that I really am not someone who can boast of big sweet tooth. Like the times when I am very hungry, and haven’t had much to eat throughout the day, I wouln’t crave for sugar. I would crave for salt. Chatpatta (tangy) is more my style.
But, there is one exception to this pattern. It’s the chocolate. And off late, it’s trying to make its voice very clear. It’s like it is seeking its revenge for all my I-am-not-a-sweet-tooth-person boastings and trying to tell me, “I have you baby, I have you firmly held, I have my claws all around you. Let’s see how you can free yourself from me now. And let’s see how you dismiss your sweet cravings now. Some fun this will be. Some fun!” And having captured me and threatened me with its powerful determination to possess me, it goes on to give out a big mirth; like a devil telling me, “hehahaha….I have you”.
Yes. I need my two pieces of chocolate. I need my chocolate fix. Daily. I can’t seem to resist that. I am fighting a losing battle here. And the problem is it doesn’t stop at two. I start out telling myself, only one piece. Okay, just one more. And two becomes three, three becomes four, and four threatens to become five on so many days. After fourth, I summon all my will and resist with vehemence and refuse to fall prey to the chocolate’s malicious mind numbing ways.
I like my chocolate at room temperature. I like its melting texture on the tongue. I plop it into my mouth and let it melt away into nothingness slowly. I savour it. I swirl it and twirl it in my mouth, remembering not to do it too much, lest it can get over quickly. I scheme of ways to make it live a little longer in my mouth before withering away. Would you call any of this a normal behaviour? For a 26 year old?
As a child, I used to often fantasize about how it will feel to enter a chocolate factory, see the molten chocolate falling from big apparatus and filling the moulds. I used to wonder how great it would be if I could fill a cup with that molten chocolate, escape to an anonymous corner and enjoy the molten chocolate…one spoon at a time. Back then, when my mind had conceived this idea, the concept of molten chocolate was still widely unheard of; at least in India. My fantasy was ahead of its time, I would say.
Heck, I still want to do this. I have dreamed of this so many times.
As I am writing this, all I can think of is how Lindor chocolate balls feel on my tongue. Crusty on the outside and gooey inside. Sinful. One of my favourites. Smoothest chocolate ever by Lindt.
And how the silky texture of Cadbury Dairy Milk silk feels. Dairy Milk Silk Roast almond. Also a favourite.
Dairy Milk Crackle – crackling away on my tongue. Childhood favourite.
Whittaker’s Hazel Nut with its one too many hazelnuts. You ‘can’t’ eat just one piece, I bet.
I have reached a point where I no longer try fooling my mind with valid reasons for digging into some chocolate. Before this phase, my valid reasons included: PMS, dark and gloomy day, stress, boredom, being a woman and having all those hormones making life difficult for me, very strong random cravings, having eaten something too salty or spicy and wanting to balance it with something sweet. Something chocolate.
Now, I don’t need any reasons, and that alarms me. How did I reach to this point?
And on days when we are running out of chocolate, I go on and sneakily help myself with a finger full of Nutella.
Oh my God!
Do you think I am becoming a chocolate addict?