Who is a Father?

They say that there is no love like mother’s love. That a mother’s love is unconditional and the purest form of love. Truly selfless.

Right. There is no denying that. Scores of literature have been written about mothers, umpteen number of poems, books, stories, songs describe the greatness of mother’s love. While her love is unquestionable and her stature for a child is equal to that of God’s, it’s the father who has always been portrayed as an outsider, as a bystander, as someone who hangs on the fringes and yet he is happy to let the mother hog all the limelight. While mother’s love has been glorified and spoken about since the time of Neanderthals, father’s love has hardly had any mention or any acknowledgement.

So while we continue to love our mothers more than anyone in this world, it wouldn’t hurt really to give daddy his due credit, will it? After all we love him as much as we love our mommy, right? Just that the way mommy loves is different from the way daddy loves; but that doesn’t mean he loves us any less.

A traditional father loved his children no less than a mother did. But he didn’t really believe in expressing. He thought being a father meant being authoritative and being in total control. But that was not really his fault. He was made to believe that way, so he passed on what he saw. He thought being a father meant being in control, disciplining children, providing for them and loving them silently.

Modern daddy has come a long way. He loves his children as unconditionally as his traditional counterpart. But he also loves to express his feelings, and he is not afraid of how he will look like expressing his feelings. He is a friend to his child and makes a smooth transition from being a father to being a friend as per the situation. He likes to keep the atmosphere light and doesn’t shy away from saying his sorrys and accepting his mistakes.

So who really is a father then?

  • Father is the one who loves his children as much as a mother does
  • Father is a one who tries to bring the best food on to the table for his children’s health
  • Traditionally, father is the one who pays for his child’s best education
  • Father is the one who takes you on holidays
  • Father is the one who bears the brunt if any of the child’s needs are unmet
  • Father is that loving figure that cuddles you when you are just a little child, plays ball with you, does summersaults to make you laugh and becomes a clown to see you laugh.
  • Father is the one who pretends to be the elephant and gives you a ride around the house, even after a hard day’s work
  • He is the one who takes you to the fair
  • He is the one who buys you expensive toys and all the beautiful clothes
  • He is the one who takes you around everywhere and drops you to school
  • He is the one who comforts you when mommy decides not to be so nice
  • He is one who provides you comfort, security and shelter
  • He is the one who always has a very special corner in his heart for his little girl
  • He is the one who bothers about insurance and the likes
  • He is the one who plans to marry his daughter off to the nicest man possible and smilingly slogs all his life to afford a big fat wedding
  • He is the one who shares, with a very heavy heart, his daughter with another man.
  • He is the one who loses sleep every night over his girls safety and happiness
  • He is the one who worries about his boy’s profession and future

Yet, a father is always a bystander. His love always is counted secondary to that of mother’s.  But his love, in no way, is secondary.

I dedicate this post to my father and all those to-be fathers. I want to tell you all that you have been doing a thankless job of being a father for centuries. It’s time we all took notice and let you know that we love you as much as we love our mommy.

He is the man,

With a lot of tan,

He slogs in the sun,

To get you the bun,

He plays with you ball,

He doesn’t let you fall,

He gives you the bike,

And holds you while you ride,

For you he cares,

So everyone he dares,

To keep you safe,

With whatever it takes.

Love you, papa.

Someday I will find my prince but my Daddy will always be my King

–       Anonymous

P.S: There always are exceptions to the traditional father and modern daddy categories. So if your daddy, didn’t fit it to the traditional mould, be assured, that I was just generalizing

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18 thoughts on “Who is a Father?

  1. Agree Agree Agree..My papa is the strongest 🙂 I love my dad too and on a side note he is doing his best to integrate with his teen age kids coz he is now on FB..

  2. Inshort, Father is a Financer..haha(Just Kidding)
    Oh Yeah dear….Father is the one man army of his family…I Love my dad :-)!
    When you want to take a big risk in your life, it’s only father who will be your side first!

    • Yes, Father is the financer and we all know how important a role financer plays 😉

      jokes apart, i think father forms the backbone of any family, and mother the heart 🙂

  3. Really true… We miss expressing our love & gratitude to our father… Its time to appreciate father’s love and thank him for all that he has done… 🙂

  4. Very nicely written. Yes father’s love is equally special as mother’s, but may be people can’t realize it as men are never so much expressive. Thank you for acknowledging this and writing about it. It was a great read Zinal. 🙂

    • Thank you so much Arindam for all the kind words and appreciation..glad that u liked it 😉
      Yes i guess, men in general are less expressive.. what with all the social pressure to be a ‘certain way’.. strong and less emotional
      But the good news is…the new age daddy is coming of age and i can see a huge shift happening in the way he is involved in every parenting aspect..

  5. Excellent Post Zinal……
    My daddy strongest 🙂 means a lot in one’s life. He is the first person to shield you from any harm or hurdle. Many a times, He has sacrificed his wishes to fulfill mine.
    Its true that we forget to express our love and gratitude.
    I don’t know why we take our parents for granted and think, they don’t need a ‘Thank You’ wherein we keep on thanking strangers for the smallest and silliest help offered.
    Time to ring up the parents and Thank them for being there in life.( I know,’Thank You’ is nothing for the things they have done for us).
    And for galz, I completely reckon that ‘Daddy remains the first Hero in their life….. 🙂

    • Yes Shrini,
      Its just that we have fallen in to the habit of taking things for granted so badly that it will take serious efforts to undo that.
      We shouldn’t shy away from expressing how grateful we are..
      Thanks for taking time out and reading each and every post 🙂 Really appreciate that
      And yes, my daddy strongest

  6. wohhh..it made me nostalgic..ur blog took me back to my childhood days where my dad shortened his foot-steps to match mine..where he rolled his tongue inside his mouth to speak my language..where he became my wings so that i can fly..ur blog reminded me all the steps i took with my dad..Thanks a lot Zinal 🙂

    • Oh Kaustubh i am so so glad this post reminded u of ur fond memories from childhood..I am glad you enjoyed this so much
      Our parents let go of all their wishes to accommodate ours..smilingly

  7. I think each and every sentence about dads you said here is true to the core. And the image just reminds me of how I made my dad run when I was learning to ride cycle. Hats off to his patience. and yes its always dads to save us from mom’s firing…. 😛

  8. dads the unsung heroes,. they really are. My kids dote on their dad. While I am the disciplinarian in the house he is the one who sympathizes with their hurts, shows them their favorite shows and pampers them. they adore him and he trukly deserves it!

    • yes… i agree.. Over the time i have realized silent contribution of my dad in our sane family life, his love and care for us..
      This post was just a way of telling my dad what he means, which would haven’t been to tell him in person 🙂
      Thanks for stopping by and reading

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